The GaggleSusanne Alexander Julie Scriver Martin Ainsley Corey Redekop Angela Williams Bethany Gibson Ross Leckie Colleen Kitts-Goguen Brent Wilson Chris Tompkins Melissa Woodworth Cheryl Norrad Viola Spencer
500 Beaverbrook Court
E3B 5X4 Canada
Where I answer questions no one asked
One of my first gigs after my debut foray in the hallowed halls of Canadian Gliterati Shelf Monkey galloped out of the gate and straight into your heart was a month-long Internet writer-in-residence stint with the then-new Open Book: Toronto. A project by Ontario publishers, Open Book has since gone on to, well, go on, and in the age of ADD, an online book site that makes it to the five-year mark is a rare and beautiful thing. A phoenix, say, or an albino penguin.
Open Book is a great resource, always reaching out to the literary community with events, essays, and more, and when author/poet/great-guy George Murray asked if I’d participate in one of his Questionless interviews, I could hardly say yes fast enough. In The Questionless Books Interview, George get a whole bunch of books people to “answer” a series of unspoken “questions”. The results may be serious, humourous, insightful, or, as in my case, revealing of an unsettling psychosis. Yet as a publicist, I knew a good opportunity when I saw one. Plus, free press is free press is free press.
Here’s a quick peek into the vast unmapped terrain of my soul:
At its core, Publishing is...a destructive influence on the moral fabric of our society. Who releases all the smut you see these days? Publishers, that’s who. That’s why I’m voting Santorum in 2012! Yes, I know I’m not American! That is not the point here!
As opposed to Editing, which is...cruel and unusual punishment as defined by the Charter of Rights and Freedoms.
A Publisher should always...use a topical, and don’t pick at it.
As opposed to an Editor, who should always...remind you that, although you have written a riveting hardscrabble family drama set on the shores of Newfoundland, vampires are in now.
A Manuscript that's ready to be read by others is...an oxymoron.
As opposed to a Book that's ready to be read by others, which is...based on the screenplay by Dan O’Bannon.
A Manuscript should always...be handwritten with quill and squid-ink on the finest vellum, creating a calligraphic work of art suitable for inclusion in the Louvre. If not, your manuscript will display a devastating laziness of character on your part, and you will be doomed to obscurity, toiling away as the shoe de-smeller at your local bowling alley.
As opposed to a Book, which should always...be stored in a place of honour on your bookshelf. No, don’t touch it, that’s a first edition! Touch with your eyes, not your hands!
Read the rest of the interview here, and don’t judge; when you’re operating on as much caffeine as I am, you’re lucky the words don’t become sentient razors and slice you thin as deli ham. That’s the caffeine again.
Cloud atlas ...more
September 14, 2012
Soooo busy... ...more
August 15, 2012
On the subject of blurbs ...more
June 10, 2012
Cute fluff and true beauty ...more
May 25, 2012
We have been delinquent... ...more
May 23, 2012
Where I answer questions no one asked ...more
March 26, 2012
Design Cities...on the west coast ...more
March 12, 2012
The dos and do not dos of author photos ...more
February 28, 2012
B is for Bukowski ...more
January 30, 2012
So much to do, so many distractions ...more
January 28, 2012
Musings from the Love Hotel ...more
January 25, 2012
Reading Challenge ...more
January 24, 2012
The Author Reading, or, How to Avoid the Super Monkey Death Car ...more
January 18, 2012
How to survive ...more
January 11, 2012
December 21, 2011
Counting down... ...more
December 14, 2011
Blog Book Tours - the new frontier ...more
November 30, 2011
It's My Most Favourite Time of The Year ...more
November 28, 2011
A new day, a new week ...more
November 27, 2011
Fresh from the Salon ...more
November 23, 2011
I should be in Toronto... ...more
November 19, 2011
Read on ...more
November 18, 2011
November 17, 2011
Strength and fluidity ...more
November 17, 2011
Publicity ain't a one-person dance ...more